Pages from the diary of Gabik Heller

Gabik Heller was the son of Moyshe Heller, a well-known Vilna history teacher who worked in the ghetto library and perished in November 1942. Gabik was a close friend of Yitskhok Rudashevski and is mentioned frequently in Rudashevski’s diary. Gabik wrote his diary in Yiddish, on used library withdrawal and date due cards; his notes cover the period of February to September 1943, when he was 14 years old. Gabik documents many aspects of the atmosphere in the Vilna ghetto during its last months of existence. The atmosphere in the ghetto was very tense, rumors ran rampant, and everyone sought some way to ensure their and their loved ones’ lives. Much like his friend Rudashevski, Gabik tried to maintain his daily routines. He was employed in the ghetto library by Dr. Herman Kruk since his father was well-known. Despite his concern for his mother, he decided to try to join the underground members leaving the ghetto. He used his broad contacts with other young people, most connected with the Bund, but he was not accepted into their ranks for escape, likely due to his young age. The diary ends abruptly in the ghetto liquidation when Gabik perished.

Below is an excerpt of Gabik’s diary translated into English. The translation, by Solon Beinfeld, is part of the research archives of Alexandra Zapruder:

“Wednesday the 22nd. [September 1943]

Today I slept badly. (Lately I sleep very badly, every rustle wakes me up.) At dawn, at 5:30 I woke with a start and heard “seizing men,” I dressed quickly even before my mother came with an answer (she had gone out to see what was going on) I was already ready. According to what Yudis said, the Jewish police have been on their feet since 12 o’clock. Probably to seize men. Mother set me straight, gave me food.

Meanwhile I went to see Mrs/Miss Lifshits. She said: “Who knows what Keitel will do?  Probably they are seizing men”…I got dressed and went with Mother to Strashum street.  (The streets were empty, nevertheless the[re] was a line standing at Rute) I said good-bye to Mother and went through the library to the attic. I called out Aronovitsh and she conducted me through. There I met Leybke (Aronovitsh’s sister) and Shleyme Kovarske’s father. I laid there as I do each/every time. I found out that beforehand, they had laid in iron-ware:  hatchets, tongs, chisels, in a word–everything that would be useful for fighting. With an effort I could barely push some of them aside so that I could lie down. I laid there until 9 o’clock. Then I crawled out with Leybke and sat talking with Kavarske. I made new laces for my shoes. Later we made a ___________ from a board and occupied ourselves playing. We had played three rounds when Aronovitsh came and told us that we could go down. We went down. I was tired and very hungry. I took care of an errand for Aronovitsh (carrying writing materials to Frid) and would have gone home, but they would not let me through, I went to the reading-room, took off my coat, went home, ate a bite, came back. Later in the evening I went again. I ate something and came back at 5:30.”

Digitization of this artifact has been made possible by the Edward Blank YIVO Vilna Online Collections project.